Letter to Mike Hamilton

Dear Mike Hamilton,
Because of you, I find it hard to call myself a Tennessee fan. You were the one who brought in thugs to represent the university on playing fields, and that is unforgivable. Of Tennessee's football team, 75% have been arrested, with 25% of those arrests being drug-related. You gave each player with such incidents a slap on the wrist and allowed them to keep playing. As if that were not enough, you angered fans to the point of them not coming to football and basketball games anymore. Because of you, Neyland Stadium will not be full for the first time in over 75 years. I hope you get fired. Even if that does happen, you will still leave a mess for the next AD. God be with his soul.
Sincerely, Adam Ganucheau

BP = Toilet

That last post was something I wrote because it affected me greatly. I know it's long, but definitely worth reading.

I am in Biloxi for a few days on family vacation. Overlooking Biloxi Bay/Gulf. There are "booms" set up everywhere to try to stop oil from getting to the beaches and marshes. Even though I haven't seen actual oil yet, I have seen workers picking up tar balls. That, in and of itself, is greatly depressing. Screw BP. Hope they tank.

Biloxi still does not appear to be negatively affected in the tourism industry. People EVERYWHERE. Quite annoying, I must admit.

Tomorrow, I am supposed to go see the actual oil. Expect a long, angry post tomorrow.

I am about to drink a Coke and listen to the waves. Peace.

It Is What It Is

"It Is What It Is"

The Story of Matthew Gavasto

Preface

On June 26, 2010, the way I viewed my life was changed. At around 8:00 pm, a knock on the door came to me and my friends at a cabin on the Mississippi River. Being deep in the backwoods of Isaqueena County north of Vicksburg, Mississippi, and at least an hour from the nearest gas station, we wondered who could possibly be at the door at that hour. I reluctantly answered the door to a shirtless, sun burnt man with worn sandals on his feet. This man introduced himself as Matt Gavasto, a 33-year-old Pittsburgh native who had kayaked from north of Pittsburgh to north of Vicksburg where we were staying. Immediately interested in this stranger, I let him inside and offered food, drink, and a place to stay for the night. As we became more and more acquainted with this man, he told numerous stories ranging over about a six-hour period. This short story is a collection of the most interesting of stories he told to me and my friends that night, as well as I can remember them, and the way they affected me personally. The reader must understand that it is impossible to fully obtain the mojo of this man without being in his presence, but I will do my best to convey the all-around epicness of his character and personality. Throughout the night, he must have said the phrase, “It is what it is,” twenty times. Looking back, that phrase pretty much sums up that character and personality.

Chapter One- The Introduction

"I saw your cabin from the river, so I made my way towards it to ask for a place to pitch my tent and stay for the night. As I got close to the river bank, I stood up to get out of my kayak. As I was just about to step onto the bank, I lost my balance and flipped the boat. All of my stuff went into the river. I have flipped before, but it was especially bad this time because my thousand-dollar camera was ruined."

As my friends and I continued to listen to this guy's unfortunate event, he explained that his whole trip was being logged with that camera. "This camera meant everything to me. It signified one of the reasons I came on this trip. It had every stop I have taken along the trip."

We realized that this was, indeed, a tragedy to this guy, but we were naturally very interested in his trip. When I asked him why he embarked on this incredible journey, his answer was interesting, to say the least. "I have always been an adventurous kind of guy. Since I was 18, I have been traveling around the country. I followed the band, Grateful Dead, when they were on a summer tour. I, along with about a hundred other people I did not know, went with the band wherever they went. We got to the next city by hitchhiking with total strangers. When I think about it, I have no clue how or why anyone ever picked me up. I had long, messy hair down to my shoulders and a beard that I didn't keep up. I wore dirty tie-dye shirts and old sandals. I was a hippy in every essence of the word."

I immediately realized that this guy was going to be full of crazy stories, and I wanted nothing less than to stay up all night and listen to what this guy had to say. I stepped up to the plate and asked the guy if he wanted to sleep on the extra couch we had at this cabin. He was thrilled. "I was hoping that you guys would ask that. (Laughs) Usually people aren't kind enough to do such a thing. Let me go take down my tent and get some of my stuff from my campsite."

Chapter Two- The Anxiety

Doing the amiable thing, we offered to help him. I must admit that I, along with my buddies, were a bit nervous going down to the river with this stranger to his "campsite". He could have had a gun and done us away in thirty seconds. Earlier that day, in broad daylight, we were scared to go down to the river bank in fear of alligators or snakes. Now, we followed this guy down the bank through tall grass like we had done it all our lives-- in total darkness. The levels of anxiety and fear that were running through my head were sky-rocketing. We finally got to his "campsite"; sure enough, there was a tent and kayak near the edge of the river on a flat surface—just how he previously described. The first thing I noticed was how small the kayak was. It could not have been more than seven feet long. It was painted bright orange, and had boxes and bottles and bags tied down to the front of it in front of the single seat. While I had no more than glanced at the kayak, Matt had halfway taken down his tent and was folding up tent poles. I noticed he had a headlight similar to a miner's. "You guys are probably thinking that this is a silly thing to have. I know from experience that this headlight can be the most useful tool to a camper. It provides light and your hands are free to do stuff like taking down a tent."

The one thing about the kayak that really stood out to me was the picture of an older couple in a dry box tied to the front of the kayak. I asked him about it. He spoke while he continued to tear down the tent. "Yeah, those are my parents. Unfortunately, they have passed. My mom died about five years ago. My dad passed this year in March of cancer."

Then he said something that surprised all of us. Like a wise old man in his eighties, he stopped what he was doing and looked us in our eyes. "From experience, guys, I can tell you this-- spend time with your parents. If you do nothing else productive in your life, make sure that your relationship with your parents is strong and lasting because they will be gone before you know it."

As he went back to working on the tent, unaffected by the powerful words that had just come out of his mouth, I stood there in sheer unbelief. Not only was this guy going to have intriguing stories, he had enough life experiences to give us advice that he thought we needed to hear. Now I, being the preacher's teenager that thinks I know everything about life and how I should live, was at first annoyed by the fact that he would be giving little life pointers to us. As I would later find out, I was wrong. I snapped back into reality and stated that he was very quick at taking down his camp. "Yeah I have obviously had practice. This is, uh, (pause) day 43 of this trip."

I almost had a stroke when he said that. I asked if he knew how many miles the trek had taken, and his next answer made me dizzy. "One thousand, five-hundred, fifty two, and a half miles."

This guy had the exact amount of how far he had come. I questioned how he knew where he was while he moved along down the river. "Well for most of the trip, I had been using just a generic road atlas. Along the way though, a man gave me river maps that have really helped me nail down exactly where I am. I'm not trying to sound cocky, but I really was doing just fine with the atlas."

He got finished packing up his tent and grabbed the waterproof, plastic, body-bag looking thing that he obviously kept his belongings in. This is the point when my nerves were completely shot. "Here comes the pistol to kill us all," I thought.

He pulled out a camera. (Whewf) He unscrewed the lens and showed us the little parts with his light. Then he placed the parts of the tent in his bag, put the camera back on top, and sealed off the bag. He went over to the kayak and made sure it was staked into the ground, and moved back towards the cabin. The anxiety I was having very soon turned to comfort—something that I could not exactly explain.

Chapter Three- The Comfort

We got back to the cabin, thankfully. My legs were torn up by mosquitoes. We sat around the kitchen island and I offered him something to eat. He gratefully took me up on that offer, and I went to the fridge. While I was opening the packaging of microwavable pizza rolls and trying to fight myself from scratching my legs, I asked if he used bug spray on his trip, thinking that he is about to die of Malaria or West Nile. I had been out for maybe fifteen minutes and was eaten alive. He had been out for 43 days and he seemed to be unaffected. "That is the good thing about being outdoors for so long. I don't know whether it is an immunity that your body builds up after a while or if you just don't feel them; all I know is that I got to throw away the bug spray can after a few days. When you are contained to just the kayak, little things start to get in the way. So anytime you can get rid of something, it creates just that much more room."

I grabbed the pizza rolls from the microwave and handed them to him. He continued to talk without eating them yet. "Three hours ago, I was depressed as hell. Yeah, we're all guys here, so I can go ahead and tell you. I was so depressed when I found that my camera was dead that I just sat on the bank and cried for a few minutes. I gathered myself and walked up to your cabin and was even more discouraged when no one was here. I went back down to the bank and screamed as loud as I could. Most of the time, being on the river alone can get crazy. You have no one to talk to and you see no civilization. I have figured out that talking to yourself to keep yourself company or even screaming as loud as you can to release fear or stress is a good way to keep yourself from losing your mind. I have learned from this trip that I have many personalities. (Laughs) After about an hour, I walked back up to the cabin. I noticed a truck there the first time I tried to see you guys, but was too mentally distressed to think anything of it. The second time I came up, I realized that there was a good chance that someone would be coming back here tonight. What REALLY made me think that, though, was that I could hear the air conditioner."

I realized something else about this guy-- he was a genius. I would not have thought about that small detail of listening for an air conditioner and recognizing the fact that someone would not leave an air conditioner running at a vacation home when they were away. He continued. "Three things I never do when I go to a house on the river. First, I do not ever use an outside faucet to get water or to shower off. Second, I do not ever pitch my tent or build a fire in someone's yard without their specific permission. And lastly, I do not ever check door knobs to see if they are unlocked. I apologize to you for any disrespect, but I did two of those things this afternoon. I used your faucet to shower, and I set up my tent and a fire in your yard. I do not know what got into me. I guess I was depressed about the whole camera incident and could not even think clearly."

Chapter Four- The Realization

I realized a few things about this whole visit at this point. Matt was full of amazing stories, he was full of advice (which I still resented at this point), and he was a very smart man. He admitted using our water before asking. That, to me, showed that he was a very honest person. He could have gone the whole visit without telling us that, and we would never have known. This was also the point that I realized something else, however. I realized that this whole thing was the biggest coincidence of all time. My group of friends and I just happened to be at this cabin in a two-day period of the year. The cabin is owned by a wealthy man who lives in Colorado. It is used as a vacation house/hunting camp MAYBE twice a year. Matt needed us to be there on that exact day. If he would have been there the day before, we would not have gotten in until about midnight, and he very well might have moved on. If he would have been there a day later, we would have gone back to our homes and the cabin would have been deserted. I thought about it a little more, and realized that it was greater than coincidence-- it was something I could not even fathom. A chill went through my body as I sat in the kitchen as this guy talked. I had no clue what was going on until this point. It hit me-- not only did Matt need me and my friends to be there that night, but I needed him for a purpose I could not explain.

"I heard you guys pull up and hung up on the girl I was talking to on the phone. I ran up here and saw that the lights were on and suddenly my day was completely lifted. I saw you, Adam, answer the door and that was when I knew I had a place to stay for the night. (Laughs) No, really, I know that younger people can relate to me better than older people."

I cut him off and asked how old he was. He looked straight out of college, no older than 25. "33."

We obviously were all shocked and he just smiled and said, "Yeah I get that a lot. I look younger than I am. It must be the adventures. I have done a lot of crazy stuff. I have biked coast-to-coast. I have hitchhiked across the country four times. I already told you guys about the 'Grateful Dead' thing. This trip really was more for my parents. My dad died a death to cancer, and it was really stressful and sad for me. He was always supportive of my travel. He actually told me not to do this trip; told me I would surely die. When he died, though, I felt like he was telling me to go, go, go. I have wanted to do this trip for about 14 years now. I finally got the chance and, well, here I am. I thought it was really interesting how you asked about the picture of my parents. I brought that along as sort of my good luck charm. I know that they are looking after me. Right after I got to the Mississippi, a bad storm came up. The banks of the river were really steep and there was nowhere for me to get off to avoid the lightning. Finally, there was a place that looked relatively shallow. I got out, and it was much deeper than I thought. I ended up flipping the kayak on top of me. It kept me out of the storm so I just hung out underneath for a while. As I was just floating there, I looked up and saw my parents. I brought them along because I knew they were looking down on me. This kind of scared me how they actually were looking down on me at that moment; I knew I would be okay."

Lastly, I realized that this guy had been through so much. He was obviously a pretty mature guy. He brought his parents along on this “big boy” trip. That must have taken a lot for him to want to decide to do that. He gave a few more life pointers, and I slowly started to respect that he was trying to help us out by giving us good advice. In fact, by the end of the night, I was actually anticipating advice because I found it to be so helpful.

Chapter Five- The Confusion

Another realization that I had-- he was not clear about his stance on religion. A few times he mentioned religion. The first time he mentioned it, it was something small and very disguised. The next time he started out by saying, "I don't want to offend anyone." In my little experience, that is usually a precursor to offending someone. He said that he thinks religion is a crapshoot of what life really is. He thought that religion put a cramp on how life should be lived. Now, I am a committed Christian. I believe that the Bible states the exact way I should live my life. Granted, he did not know this. Nevertheless, when Matt said that religion negatively affected life, I was offended. Later, though, I realized that he did not mean that he was completely against religion. I took his words to mean that he thinks that religion has caused people to think that some things are wrong when they should not be considered wrong at all. Looking back on his beliefs, I can respect them. The last time he mentioned religion, I was shocked. Late in the night he said, "I have trouble believing in a God. But on this trip, I am starting to realize that he is up there looking after me."

I tried to figure this out, but I was obviously very confused. The next morning, I found out that Matt was raised a Christian. The only thing that I could think of was that he had drifted away from Christianity, but God was pulling him back into it. Of all the things Matt talked about over an eight-hour period, that was the only thing I ever silently questioned him about. Luckily, this confusion I had did not too terribly stray my mind away from the other things Matt had to say.

Chapter Six- The Advice

This is the part I had originally had problems with. As I discussed earlier, the first advice came on the banks of the river as Matt told us to spend time with our parents. Not that I have anything against my parents, I just always assumed I had things fairly figured out. So, as would be expected, I quietly grunted when he went on a small rant. In a harsh subject change, Matt said, “Not to sound too ‘preachy’, but I feel like you guys need to hear something else. Never. Get. A. Credit. Card. People always tell you to get just one credit card in college and make small charges on it and pay them back on time to establish good credit for when you need it. That is insane. Buy a used car, finance it, and make your payments on time. I know from experience, credit cards can ruin your life. My dad had a credit card. What started with a five-thousand dollar debt turned into him having to file bankruptcy. That is when I moved out. I lost all respect for my dad when that happened. I couldn’t even talk to him. (Pause) There are only three things in life you should ever have debt on. A car, a house, and college.”

This may seem irrelevant to the reader, but it was right on the money for me in my life. I am about to go to college. Everyone knows that college is a drain of the pocketbook. He gave me some advice that I truly feel that I needed. I am going to need to either buy or rent a house or an apartment during and after college, and that is something I have been slightly worried about. Again, some of the advice he gave will really help me in the near future. His words not only were good advice, but they gave me a level of comfort that I have not had in a while.

The final piece of advice that I remember Matt giving was one that probably most affected me personally. “Get out and travel. Do not ever pass up an opportunity to go on random adventures with your friends. I have found that travel and adventure are two of the only things that have ever made me truly happy in life.”

After my friends and I pondered that piece of advice, we were immediately filled with questions about his travel.

Chapter Seven- The Travel Stories

When I asked him what his favorite destination has been, he was obviously well-prepared for the question. “I don’t know if you mean best location or best people so I will answer both for you. The best location in America, hands-down, is San Francisco. Just the overall beauty of the scenery and electric feel of the atmosphere makes it the best place. I am completely against hate. I hate, hate. In San Fran, one of the coolest things to me was the laid-back personality of the city and its people. Most places around the country, people are publicly against gay and inter-racial relations. In San Francisco, it seemed that no one thought twice about anything. It had the best feel of anywhere I have ever been. Now the best people in the country may come as a surprise to you because it surely came as a surprise to me. Kentucky. The people in Kentucky are the friendliest people in the world. I don’t know what makes them so friendly. The poverty rate in Kentucky is proven to be lower than a lot of other places, and usually, from my experience, poor people are more friendly because they have been through more and can relate to you. The one thing I hated about Kentucky was the trashiness of the place. Even the yards of the nicest homes had trash in them. That’s another thing about me. I hate litter. In my yard, there is not one piece of trash. If I find out you littered in my yard, I will hunt you down. The world is such a beautiful place, and I think it is pointless to ruin that. On all of my trips, I clean up after myself; you can’t even tell I have been places because I am so good about that kind of stuff.”

We asked him what the nastiest place he had stayed so far on the Mississippi River trip. “Within my first week on the water, it started to rain and it was getting pretty late, so I knew I had to find a place to stay pretty quickly. I saw a bridge in the distance, so I thought I could at least get a relief from the rain under it. By the way, it rains under bridges too. At the beginning of my trip, I thought I could park under a bridge when it rained and wait a few minutes for it to pass over—wrong. Anyways, under this bridge was so nasty. Pieces of garbage and nasty water had stopped up into this huge mass. The smell was terrible. Smelled like monkey crap. One of the things I have always hated most about zoos are the monkey pits because their crap has this distinct gross smell. Anyways, I saw this tunnel under the bridge. I had nowhere else to stay, so I knew I had to stay there that night. There was this small gap that was just long enough and tall enough for me and my kayak to fit in. The smell was so bad I gagged constantly. I heard these voices down the tunnel, and every time I closed my eyes, I would see this little kid looking at me sitting Indian style. It was by far the creepiest thing I have ever been part of.”

I asked how many indoor places he had stayed in his whole trip. “This is only the fourth in my 43 day trip so far. The first wasn’t even really indoors. It was on a patio of this hick bar in Kentucky. I had to actually stay up with all of the bar people until they closed. This really ugly mother of three was hitting on me all night. She kept telling me she was going to come scratching at my tent that night. I told her that I was happily married and not interested. I am single and am all for getting with pretty girls, but I have standards. She definitely did not fit into those standards. The second was actually the Memphis Yacht Club. It was not as cool as it sounds. I actually had to sleep on the laundry room floor. The guy who let me stay there came in at 4:30 am to do his laundry and woke me up. The guy finally got finished with his laundry and I had gotten back to sleep and he woke me up at 6:00 am to tell me he was leaving. Needless to say, I could have slept better in my tent. The third was in a hunting lodge with some people that seemed really into what I was doing. The night was going well and it was getting pretty late. As people were getting off to bed, the owner of the place pulled me aside and told me that they all had guns and knew how to use them. I got really offended but couldn’t say anything to the guy because he was giving me a place to stay. I went off to bed and left before they woke up the next morning. And this place here is really nice. It is definitely a happy ending to a really bad day. It’s always nice spending time with cool people.”

And with that, we went to sleep. At the beginning of the night when Matt first walked in, I immediately assumed I would lock my bedroom door and sleep with my more valuable belongings under my pillow. After getting to know him, though, I wanted to hit myself in the face for even thinking that I needed to do that in the first place.

Chapter Eight- The Effect

That last comment was especially amazing to me. “It’s always nice spending time with cool people…” This guy, who I had come to really respect for being so awesome, had just called me cool. I felt like the 8-year-old kid who got to meet his favorite baseball player before the World Series. The feeling was indescribable, really. This guy had lived the life. He had everything paid off, worked a fairly laid back job for decent pay, and traveled wherever the wind took him. When everyone finally went off to bed, it was probably around 2:00 am. After a long day, I should have fallen asleep when my head hit the pillow. Instead, I had much trouble getting to sleep. As I recounted the events that had just happened, I faded into this trance, something unlike I had ever experienced before. I knew for a fact that Matt’s visit was more than just a coincidence. As I thought about it more, I realized it was more than providence-- it was something so much farther than what I could even begin to understand. This trance, for lack of a better word, kept me awake for at least another couple hours.

During that couple of hours, I re-evaluated my entire life. Something that Matt told us was to do whatever makes us happy. I thought long and hard about little things in my life and asked myself if what I did really made me happy. Half my memories did, in fact, make me happy. But as I looked back on others, I realized that they did not make me happy. I thought about Matt’s life. He was and is, by far, the happiest guy I have ever met. Granted, this guy could have made everything up just for a place to stay, but it really opened my eyes to a few things.

First, as I just mentioned, I need to make life decisions that make me happy. I have always considered other people and their feelings and beliefs, but I need to start considering my feelings and beliefs a little more than I have. Second, I need to live life a little more. I have had many experiences in my life that I have been fortunate enough to have been through. I thought I had lived life pretty good up to the night I met Matt. I heard about just a handful of the thousands of things that he has experienced and been through, and I realized that I was just a boy lost in this huge world. There is so much out there for me to still take part in and experience, and that gives me this sense of hope and encouragement that I cannot even describe. Third, I need to grow up. I am about to go to college, and I had thought that I was ready for the real world. I have learned now that I am dead wrong about that. Matt shared some helpful pointers and stories that I had never thought about. Lastly, I have realized that life is about to hit me in the face and knock me to the ground. Matt shared some of his ups and downs in his life. I have heard about mid-life crisis and unfortunate events that can crack the hopes of even the strongest of people, but for some reason, Matt’s testimony stuck to me.

Life is like the river. It seems to be flowing smoothly until you float around the bend and a barge is waiting to sink your kayak. Our job is to paddle as fast as we can to get out of the barge’s way and arrive to shore safely. Thanks to Matt, I now feel like I have a better sense of life than I ever did before. This one guy has changed the way I view everything. It has been nearly a week since Matt got in his kayak and we waved him off as he pushed off into the Mississippi. I am still acquiring more and more from the whole visit as the days go on. I hope to always remember the night of June 26, 2010, as the night that my life turned around. With a little bit of luck, maybe I will become half as cool as that guy is. Then, I could honestly deem my life successful.

Closing Remarks

When Matt originally planned his trip over fourteen years ago, he hoped to go from a small river flowing through his hometown of Apollo, Pennsylvania, to the Ohio River. From the Ohio River, he hoped to get to the Mississippi River. From the Mississippi River, he hoped to get to the Gulf of Mexico. When he came to the cabin I stayed at for the weekend, he was on day 43 of his trip; just over 1500 miles of sitting in his kayak. He hoped to be to the Gulf somewhere near Venice, Louisiana, in just ten days after leaving us. If all went well, he said, he would be celebrating July 4^th on Bourbon Street in New Orleans. I have no doubt in my mind that he will accomplish his massive feat that only a few people would dare to even think about. I hope that when he tells others about his trip, he includes me and my six other friends in his story. All we can do is hope that he makes it safely to the Gulf and hope that we may have had some sort of positive effect on him as he did on us. “It is what it is.”